Tribalism

 

It struck me the other day just how much we seem to be separating out into tribes, sometimes warring ones.  Many years ago I was one of a small number of homeschooling parents in my state.  Around the time my daughter was two someone else set up a meeting for homeschoolers to talk about some of the changes at the DOE homestudy office.  I went to the meeting and met some people for the very first time.  We had a pleasant meeting and scheduled another one.  Over the months people offered suggestions, a legislative committee was established and people chosen to be our spokespeople with the DOE and with the legislators.  It took two legislative sessions, but we ultimately got a homestudy bill that was much more pleasing to us, as well as being one that the DOE was willing to endorse.

Now, the homeschooling families in that group were not monolithic.  Some were definitely on the counter culture end of the spectrum, liberal in politics, and unschooling in educational methods.  Some were on the traditional/fundamentalist end of the spectrum, conservative in politics, and pretty much textbook/school at home types.   I fell somewhere in between.  We had vegans, and meat eaters. We had dad's with long hair, and dads with short. We had atheists and conservative Christians.  Even the legislators who sponsored out bill were not monolithic.  They also fell on both ends of the political spectrum.  Yet somehow we were all able to talk to each other, work with each other, and even enjoy each other's company.

 I honestly wonder whether that would even be true in most cases today.  People have become so polarized, that it seems difficult  to even work together for a common cause. Back in that era I learned from people who came from a very different position.  I was able to work with them and appreciate things like their humor, their dedication to their kids, even some of the curriculum they used,books they read (or in the case of Frank Asch, wrote).

 I think we would be better off today if we were able to appreciate the fact that people don't have to always agree in order to get along. It makes me sad that someone whom I went to elementary school with unfriended me on Facebook because we had a different political perspective.  I didn't unfriend anyone.  There are people I follow less than before, but I do check in on them from time to time. I fully recognize that relationships change as interests change and as our lives move in different directions, but it always makes me sad when I suddenly find someone who was a really close friend at one point has simply shut off communication, with no explanation or warning.  It's happened more than once.  

 Once upon a time shared interests seemed to be enough.  Homeschoolers could get together for a whale watch without agreeing on politics or religion. People who raised sheep could do the same. My kids grew up with 4-H friends who went to school and not to church. They got to know people who came from very different perspectives.  I like to think it served them well as they grew into adults. 

 It is certainly fun to find kindred spirits with whom you have a lot in common, but it's also fun to find friends with whom you may only share one or two particular passions.  It might be knitting, or gardening, or riding a horse.  It might be faith related issues that you share with someone who may never bake a loaf of bread or knit a hat. It is too easy to let ourselves be clustered in tribes and never speak with anyone outside of those tribes.  I happen to think it's a dangerous trend.